Here I Am.
Hello dear Community, Here’s another more personal, daring-to-share blog.
I posted the following on social media this past week and it resounded strongly with people. So I am also sharing it with you. I am doing so on the day I will attend the watch party in England for the episode of Planet Earth III in which we were involved as Marine Education and Research Society Humpback Whale researchers.
Here goes:
On Thursday, I woke up in the Netherlands (where I am visiting family) with the vivid memory I am about to describe.
This was when I was in grade 11 or 12 circa 1981 and is about the “Top Science Student” award in our high school.
I was very fortunate to receive recognition for how hard I worked including being “Top Female Student” in my graduating class. Yes, making a distinction between Top Male and Top Female was something that no one blinked at back then.
There were dear friends who were brilliant science students and who went on to careers in STEM too. But it happened to be that I had the highest combined science grade that year. The prize was a Texas Instruments calculator. That was a really big deal back then. 🙂
I was not recognized for the Top Science Student award.
What were we being judged on if not our grades? At least one of the teachers believed “I can’t see her in a lab coat”.
So the perception of what a scientist should look like, and behave like, BACK THEN was putting limitations on what a scientist could look like, and be like, IN THE FUTURE.
Well . . . here I am.
Here I am despite so many downward forces about what I was supposed to look like, and how I was supposed to behave.
Granted I am far more of an educator than I am a scientist. But, there too I am applying stereotypes and standards that I actually don’t believe in.
I joked around a lot then, as I do now. I gained self worth through my achievements and the humour helped distract from how hard I was working. There was also some big stuff going on and I knew I had to get the grades to get the hell out of dodge and into the life I wanted. But simply, it’s also how this brain works. It needs humour to remain engaged.
And granted, I am not in a lab coat.
I often wear a tutu or a lot of rain gear.
But, here I am.
Here WE are.
Those who did not fit stereotypes and societal standards and yet still found their way . . . so that many more can follow.
___________________
The Marine Detective 
13 Responses to “Here I Am.”
Bold, and beautiful. Thank you! Let’s take pleasure in the ways that times change, and let’s keep flexing our muscles in the areas where they have yet to do so. Lead on…
“Flexing our muscles in the areas where times need to change”. Yes! Thank you so much Sue.
It resounds with me, but in a different way. In grade school I was always in the top two students in my grade, and I was the right gender to be recognized back then, but I had the wrong skin colour — Red. I should have won scholarships to university, but instead I heard it said about me, “Why waste money on him, he’s just going to become a drunk!” So the awards all went to white students.
I’m told nowadays indigenous students can go to University for free, but if that was true in my day no one ever told me.
I lost all interest in Science over the years, and when I finally graduated university at the age of 57, still with top marks in my cohort, I was getting my BSW. I didn’t know much about the Hunanities as a child, but it ended up that was where I belonged — it just took a long while to discover that. I’m retired now, so it is all water under train trestle, but my life could have been a lot different if someone had believed in me in High School. Instead I dropped out and became a Hippie instead. That made for a very interesting life, just not the one I was expecting back then…
Congratulations on becoming who you wanted to be! I love your blog, and the “world” you get to live in. Do save the humpbacks, and all the other whales too. But please save our oceans while you are at it. The Earth will not survive without healthy oceans!
Empathy and understanding to you.
And, thank you.
I’m happy with my life, and who I turned out to be.
Seems to me you are happy too!
Thankyou for sharing your story!
I am so pleased to have gotten to know you through your news letters. I truly appreciate all you have done in our world sharing your marine experiences.
So beautiful and majestic.
You are a true scientist and from back when ; they didn’t realize they had the best scientist.
Sincerely Trudy
How this lifts me up Trudy. Thank you so much.
Dear lovely Jackie, Thank you for sharing so freely and honestly. Be assured your words indeed do so much to support others who did not “fit” but yet find a way to live an authentic important role in our world. Long may your tutu and smile flourish.
Huge smile and gratitude to you BP. Always.
Oh yeah! Thanks for sharing your personal story. We were blazing trails and things have improved re gender stereotyping. Yet when we look at who holds the power in our society we still have a long way to go. Keep at it Jackie!
So very true. Thank you so much Ro.
The actual Planet Earth and “Planet Earth III” are both very fortunate to have you. If you weren’t your own hard-working, good-humoured self (of whatever gender), they never would have found you. But the word is out about whom to see if one is interested in Cetaceans (and invertebrates, and humans too) in Johnstone and QC Straits and the Broughton Arch.
And, whether you’re wearing a lab coat or your diving tutu, you look beautiful!
Love, Mike Morrell, Denman Island.
Thank you so very much Mike. This means so much to me.