The following is again a more personal post. The words I share below have resonated strongly with many on social media. Therefore, I am sharing them here too. May they land with others who gain from reading them. Here’s to love, in all its diversity and depth.
Daring to share on Valentine’s Day because The Marine Detective is as much about equality and finding one’s way as it is about marine life.
Partner-less? Chlid-less?
We are not “less”.
I am writing this for myself as much as I am for others in the same boat. (See what I did there? So clever! )
If today you can look into the eyes of a partner and from the depths of your soul say “I love you”, that is so very, very much to be celebrated.
THIS is for the widow(er)s, the estranged, the separated, the childless, the partnerless, and / or the loverless (fun word to say). We are not less.
A paradigm is pushed at us that to be coupled is to be better. That being single is something to be solved or cured.
No. Many of us are living realities where this “single” life is so much more than the mediocrity, hollowness, or even damage inflicted from past partners, and that we perceive in the relationships of others.
Here’s to what got us where we are today – the tough decisions made, the growth, the scarring, the healing, the searching, the stopping, the loving, the uncompromising, the escaping, the vulnerability, and the freedom.
Here’s to the love in our full lives, the love in our hearts, the love we put into the world, and the love in our futures – whatever we chose that to be.
To be single, is not to be alone. To be single, is not to be without love.
Hello dear Community, Here’s another more personal, daring-to-share blog.
I posted the following on social media this past week and it resounded strongly with people. So I am also sharing it with you. I am doing so on the day I will attend the watch party in England for the episode of Planet Earth III in which we were involved as Marine Education and Research Society Humpback Whale researchers.
Here goes:
On Thursday, I woke up in the Netherlands (where I am visiting family) with the vivid memory I am about to describe.
This was when I was in grade 11 or 12 circa 1981 and is about the “Top Science Student” award in our high school.
I was very fortunate to receive recognition for how hard I worked including being “Top Female Student” in my graduating class. Yes, making a distinction between Top Male and Top Female was something that no one blinked at back then.
There were dear friends who were brilliant science students and who went on to careers in STEM too. But it happened to be that I had the highest combined science grade that year. The prize was a Texas Instruments calculator. That was a really big deal back then. đ
I was not recognized for the Top Science Student award.
What were we being judged on if not our grades? At least one of the teachers believed “I can’t see her in a lab coat”.
So the perception of what a scientist should look like, and behave like, BACK THEN was putting limitations on what a scientist could look like, and be like, IN THE FUTURE.
Well . . . here I am.
Here I am despite so many downward forces about what I was supposed to look like, and how I was supposed to behave.
Granted I am far more of an educator than I am a scientist. But, there too I am applying stereotypes and standards that I actually don’t believe in.
I joked around a lot then, as I do now. I gained self worth through my achievements and the humour helped distract from how hard I was working. There was also some big stuff going on and I knew I had to get the grades to get the hell out of dodge and into the life I wanted. But simply, it’s also how this brain works. It needs humour to remain engaged.
And granted, I am not in a lab coat. I often wear a tutu or a lot of rain gear. But, here I am.
Here WE are. Those who did not fit stereotypes and societal standards and yet still found their way . . . so that many more can follow. ___________________
I suspect this will resound with many of you. Photo by Emily Cowie, MERSEdited · 2d
I wrote the following in my role with the Marine Education and Research Society to accompany the graphic below. Our efforts include workshops on Marine Mammal Regulations and the ethics of imagery and language used by mainstream and social media.
It is so jarring and unfortunate when wildlife encounters are described with language like “the whales put on a show for us”. No, they didn’t.
How I hope my words resound with you.
“Itâs not a show.
Wildlife does not perform for humans. Whales do not âput on a showâ for us.
Words matter. Words reflect, and perpetuate, our values and actions.
Thankfully, society has come a long way in understanding our connection to the natural world.
May our words reflect that we know the privilege of observing wild animals, living wild lives.
Not âfor usâ. Not âup close and personalâ.
Rather, may we value most that what we observe in the wild happens . . . as if we werenât there.”
The graphic is available as a sticker or card at our MERS Ocean Store. The card includes the above text. All sales support our research and education efforts.
Illustration made by friend Dawn Dudek based on a photo I took of Humpback Whale Inukshuk (BCZ0339) while conducting research for the Marine Education and Research Society (MERS) under Marine Mammal License MML-57.
I am daring to share the following with you, with Hannah’s permission. I do so because, we are all educators and, as I often express, education is like throwing seeds into the wind. Usually, we don’t know how, or even if, the seeds take root.
Hannah has gifted me an example of how a simple act from 22 years ago may have contributed to someone’s path. Yes, I cried upon reading this. I am crying again now.
“Dear Jackie,
I wanted to give you this memory you so appreciated hearing. If I were an artist, I would draw or paint or somehow physically create this moment for you. Instead, as a linguist, I will do my best to describe it.
A flurry of sensory information was hitting my not-yet-developed brain, so I donât have many specifics for this memory. I know two things: this memory is one of my first, and I was on the Gikumi, so I felt safe. [Gikumi was the beautiful wooden boat then used by Stubbs Island Whale Watching].
Sight: I sat facing one of the doorways, so my view of the outside was framed. Strangers swiftly appeared and disappeared as they walked along the deck. The land gently rose and fell when some wake hit the boat. It wasnât too bright for my young, blue eyes. I know now that a slightly cloudy day makes for better nature watchingâŠenough light but no glare.
Sound: The radio blared with voices and static. Captain Jim lowered the volume. Boats engines hum in the distance. A dozen strangersâ voices chatter, so there must not have been whales yet. Something about whales makes us go silent. Iâve always liked that. Even my busy, loud brain goes silent with them.
Smell: Coffee. Mom always had coffee. The breeze never quite made it around that doorway, so the smell of the ocean would arrive later.
Touch: Mom had on a rain jacket, so the arms that surrounded me felt a bit loud for my fingers. Some people understand that a feeling can be loud. It is like how linen is not smooth or rough, but somehow loud to feel. My life jacket provided me with consistent, surrounding pressure, like a hug. I never minded wearing it. Sitting on Momâs lap, I didnât have to worry about balance. She held me tightly as the waves made the boat rock. This is a comforting feeling for me, like a vertical rocking chair.
Taste: Captain Jim gave me a cookie. Yum.
The boat continued to glide forward. Suddenly, there was a pickup of chatter and movement. My eyes darted around. Too young to listen to or understand a naturalist talk, I didnât really know the kinds of creatures that could appear or nature I could experience.
Then, a familiar face appeared in the doorway. It was your kind, sociable, empathetic, and passion-filled face. Your face had excitement in it. Not on it, like a painter choosing an emotion for the subject or a reaction learned through customer service. The excitement was in it. It was true. You said something to Mom, and she plopped me down from her lap and lifted me over the door frame.
This is the vivid moment in my memory. I donât have much of a mindâs eye. I canât âseeâ anything when I read books, and I always thought âpicture thisâ was a metaphor, not an actual instruction. But in my mind, I can see blue-grey sky with your hand reaching down for mine. I take your hand, and it feels warm. You guide me to the bow and position me by the rail. You squat down so you can talk to me, not over me. Your left arm is around me, holding me safe and steady. Your right hand switches between holding the rail and pointing to the water. You brought me out to see the Dallâs Porpoise riding Gikumiâs bow.
This is when I feel the cool wind on my face and smell the slightly salty water. It smells green and blue. The open ocean just smells blue to me, but where we are also smells green. I now know it is the lower salinity, but you intelligently didnât try to educate me on that fact. Instead, you instruct me to look at how the porpoises glide through the water and move up and down for air. I see the water turn white when they disturb the surface. I hear the puffs of them breathing. You point to their tails and tell me to look at how fast they can go.
I donât have the ability yet to âwonderâ in the sense of pondering or thinking, but I do have the ability to âwonderâ in the sense of awe. This new information could have skidded past my brain as unintelligible data too complicated to process. But you took the time to help me see it and help me learn it. You crouched down to my physical and mental level to help me see what you see in this incredible world.
This moment sparked the joy that began my passion for cetaceans. It isnât the joy that is synonymous with happiness. It is the Joy that C.S. Lewis talks about: an unsatisfied desire for and lifelong pursuit of God. He describes Joy as a longing that comes to you in pangs as you head in the right direction toward God. At this point in my life, I simply consider God to be the ultimate source of goodness. My pangs of Joy are when I feel like I am heading in the right direction toward whatever meaning my life is supposed to have. I believe it is good to pursue knowledge of the world around me, even if it is just for knowledgeâs sake. At least, it is good to pursue finding meaning. I think I found my purpose in killer whale research. You sparked that Joy, and I thank you.
Be well, Hannah Cole”
Hannah is clearly an extraordinary writer, and human. Her undergraduate degree is in Computer Science and Computational Thinking with a minor in Philosophy, she is pursuing a Master’s in Linguistics. From Hannah: “I want to combine these into a PHD in Natural Language Processing, studying the language of killer whales. Dr. John Ford discerned their linguistic variation, and I hope to use artificial intelligence to discern any meaning that may be present.”
Here’s to the salty sisterhood of cold-water divers (and the men with whom we submerge). I am a week late with posting this for “Women’s Dive Day”. Yes, it’s been busy.
But, it’s still really important to me to put these photos into the world and reflect on how much this sisterhood means to me, and why. I have tears in my eyes as I type this, so apparently, the feelings run deep.
Why? Because you may have noticed that, by some, there is an increasing downward pressure on womxn in an attempt to limit the spaces in which we expand and the choices we WILL make. Because some want to hold on to the assumption of inherent privilege based on the absurd “criteria” of skin pigmentation; whether one’s chromosomes have one X or two; or gender identification. Because some fight equality to claim superiority.
I now have some pretty good expletives in my head which I will not type here.
Of many examples of times it has become very clear to me that being a womxn* in science and scuba is important, let me share the following:
On a really hot day, I was “show and tell” for two children in our community. I dressed up in all my dive gear (the full weight and heat of it) and walked down the hallway and into the classroom with Cayden’s little hand in mine on one side, and Sophia’s little hand in mine on the other.
I walked in as a surprise to the other students. I then was gifted the time to talk about the science of the dive gear and the life that lived in the cold Ocean; our neighbours who were just below the surface of where we lived.
I took the equipment off piece by piece after explaining what it did. The children chose to try to lift the weights and cylinder and we discussed pressure and buoyancy (always good metaphors ).
In the course of this, among so many moments the filled my heart, a little boy looked up at me. He had such an open expression on his face and he said . . . “You’re my first scuba diver”.
I was his first scuba diver – me an older woman, speaking for science and the sea, engaging not in an elevated way but in a way that invited them all to follow where their loves took them, and yes, I was wearing a bright green tutu.
How does this help shape the future? We will never know will we? We are all projecting our energies and images into places where we might increase what is good in the world, or suppress it.
From the depths, love to you my scuba sisters, and to the men we swim beside. Respect and gratitude to all who shine their light so that others may follow; who do NOT push others down in an attempt to feel elevated. That’s such a tragic and transparent indicator of being a hollow human.
Below: A slideshow to honour some scuba sisters.
For those that may not have seen the use of “womxn” before. The spelling of womxn is a feminist choice in two ways. It removes the “m-a-n” from “woman” and “m-e-n” from “women”. It’s also an acknowledgement that I am including trans and non-binary humans when I use the word.
My final words for 2021. Squeezed out of my heart, head and hands. I need this for myself, to focus on what matters. As always, I hope it has value to you too.
Wishing you health And the heart To help those Slowed along the way
Wishing you weather That does not Flood, burn Nor twist
Wishing you strength To see Truth and fact And what is not
Wishing you endurance To run the race Dodging pitfalls positioned For disappearance into despair
Wishing you balance Not to flirt with vertigo But to right yourself When you fall (because you will fall)
Wishing you love That mirrors back The good of Who you are
Wishing you joy Laughter that fills And makes your Belly shake
Wishing you wonder That stops you In your tracks And you are small again
Wishing you silence Amid stridency Buy, buy, buy Never enough (always too much)
Wishing you vision To know the way To what matters Now, always
Wishing you wild For if there is wild There is all Of the above
I recently had the great joy of meeting artist Nico Kos Earle through another artistic powerhouse, Dawn Dudek.
In this meeting, Nico referenced a line from her poem “We Are the Flood” that hit me full force with its power to capture so succinctly the reality of we humans and climate change. That line is: “We are the weather makers“.
Below I share the full poem with Nico’s permission. There is so much in the words that moves me and fortifies my resolve. May it do the same for you. đ
The following content has been very well-received on my social media. Therefore, I am sharing it here too.
Daring to share . . .
This belongs here, on my page, where ultimately itâs about the welfare of future generations; about equity and connection.
Through recent international ârealtiesâ, to situations impacting the welfare of other species and dear friends, I have gained even more insight into how power structures enable abuse and how, at their core, itâs about keeping others small, and preferably . . . silent.
I see, and live, how disparity in power means that those working for equality, truth and justice bleed out time, energy and expense into strategizing to navigate these power systems, adding another layer of disadvantage.
I have felt anger boiling up and exhaustion creeping in. I am an older woman which means . . . I canât.
Those of us with power must help those who have less, for that is a life well-lived. It does not mean that we have to carry it all. But imagine a world where many more of us recognize and reject the forces that strive to diminutize, divide, distract, and paralyze, and rise into our power to create positive change and help others. More of us united. That’s the world I will continue to work for.
The blog I am referencing is at this link. And yes, by writing this post and that blog, it clears my head, adds to my resolve, represents what motivates me most, and hopefully is of use to others.
Yes I am toying with this idiom to get your attention dear community.
Please read. Please take just a few minutes to check in with yourself. Please share if this resounds with you.
This week the findings of a very big, very important report went into the world. Likely you noted the heft of it; urgent words accompanied by imagery of burning, flooding and/or orange, red and yellow graphs? Â
Yes, I am talking about the 2021 report by the Intergovernmental Committee on Climate Change. Stay with me! What was your reaction? What did you feel? What will you do?
Take a few minutes please to reflect on this. Was it an emotional cocktail of overwhelm, fear, despondency, shutdown? This would be so understandable, especially for you who are already striving for so much socio-environmental good. But, BUT reflect on the amplified danger of this.Â
If we shutdown, if it is âtoo muchâ, if we bury it, or if we reject . . . where is the action? Where is the resolve and dedication to change? Where is the empowerment? Where is the future?Â
It is such a difficult and delicate dance in how to communicate the urgency for change while not stimulating the fear that catalyzes paralysis or for âhopeâ to replace action.
What to do? Feel it and then . . . do it.
We donât need to be perfect in our actions. That notion also manipulates / debilitates us into eco-paralysis. But we do need to act.Â
At the very core of what needs to be done is that we need to reject that the use of less fossil fuels is about loss. We need to know the great gains achieved by our consumer and voter actions. We need to act on the knowledge of the common solutions to so many problems being achieved through less fossil fuels, less consumerism (consumerism most often fuels fossil fuel use), and more nature.Â
We need to model the happiness that comes from empowerment and valuing our reliance on the natural world (like the kelp and trees that absorb our carbon).
We need to embrace that disempowerment is not only individually disabling, it is the denial by those who have power over the rights and choices of others.
For those who have found their way here but, for whatever reason, are not able to believe there is a climate crisis, my empathy to you. If this post provokes you, there is emotional truth in that too. There are of course deep reasons for why you believe what you do. Please know that I understand but I will not tolerate any comments that are motivated by countering precaution and/or countering science and reasoned and respectful dialogue.