[Note: This blog was published in 2012].
So this may be one of the most daring things I ever do and it is certainly the most uncontrolled experiment I have ever conducted.
This blog item is not about the state of the oceans but about dating sites like “Plenty of Fish” and my reality as a vibrant, single 49-year-old woman.
As any reader of “The Marine Detective” knows, there are NOT plenty of fish in the sea. There are massive conservation and management efforts needed for marine ecosystems before it is too late.
I perceive the metaphor with regard to relationships to be equality untrue. There are not “Plenty of Fish”, at least not at my trophic level in the ecosystem in which I want to continue to live.
I of course respect the utility of such online dating sites and recognize that there are many out there that have met the love of their lives in this way.
It’s not for me though.
I would prefer a site named “Deep Sea Bottom Trawling” where the first thing you do, to increase efficiency in finding those of like intentions, would be to choose your method of “fishing” i.e. catch and release (one night stands); bottom trawling (indiscriminate and destructive); seining (slowly closing a net of no escape); long-lining (many hooks in the water); trolling (more selective due to using appropriate hooks for your target catch) . . . you get the idea AND some flavour of my sense of humour.
By virtue of my unique name and lifestyle, and my on-line presence as “The Marine Detective”, I would have little hope on a dating site of finding balance between revealing anything about myself and preserving some anonymity. This has led to my thinking, why not take things entirely into my own hands and put my “single, very happy but wanting it all” status out in a world of those who have a sense of what I am about?
I hope the humanity of this has you smiling as a reader and not thinking “Ooooh – this is awkward!”
So here goes:
- My good traits? They are revealed in all things related to The Marine Detective – I am passionate, driven to make a positive difference, adventurous, independent, introspective, articulate, funny, creative, strong; honest, hard-working, and accomplished.
- My negative traits? They are the same as the list above but would be perceived by someone who does not have the same value system; who does not have a strong sense of self; and /or is feeling weakened by middle age as my being: intense, uncompromising, demanding, scattered, blunt, workaholic, and eek . . . a feminist! (As if equality would be a bad thing for either gender).
So that’s it folks, my hopes are likely no different than many of yours.
Despite the scarring and lessons-learned of previous relationships, I still have the hope of being able to have it all and that somehow, maybe as a result of my daring to write this blog, that I will end up with a man with whom I have a deep connection, and can build a partnership where we swim in a sea of love, truth, passion, and mutual respect.
I want to share this extraordinary, privileged life with a very rare fish with a rich life of his own.
If you know of one, please throw him a line!